Wednesday, March 3, 2010
What do I do next?
Are they gonna like it?
Should it be funny?
Fucked if I know.
When I put this question to Elliott, he had quite a funny response, and anyone who hasn't checked his blog out really should as it's very funny, but he said, in one of the strangest rants I have ever heard...
Elliott: You know what? I'm not even gonna be funny next time. I'm gonna talk about things people don't wanna hear about like cancer.
Nathan: Like the Apocalypse.
Elliott: Yeah exactly, stuff like can you imagine Adolf Hitler, I'm gonna... right think about this... Adolf was probably a fairly normal person, we never think about him that way, he would've right...at some stage...been having a wank, now I'm not sure what he's wanking over, it could be some kind of Playboy some kind of Black and white version, or like a picture of his girlfriend, or just a picture of Jews, we don't know.
From then we preceded to talk about stuff that I really can't write down, lets just say it went downhill real fast.
Then Elliott noticed I was writing this Blog and went on to say.
Elliott: Look can you change the part that I said about him being a fairly normal person.
Nathan: But you said that.
Elliott: Yeah I know but I don't wanna come across as Mel Gibson. But you're making me sound like I think he's normal, I don't and he's not, he murdered 6 million people, he was a psychopath, I didn't mean he's normal, what are you writing?
So while Elliott tells me he is writing his official statement to retell the goings on of this rainy afternoon, I think I answered my own question, which was, how do we respond to the pressure of keeping people interested? Well with complete sabotage. If there is anyone reading this Stupid, and thanks to Elldog, Anti Semitic blog, I do apologize.
Elliott: You just need a photo of Mel Gibson now......
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Probably my favourite photo ever, I mean look at my cute face... Ladies stay back I'm taken.
I'm thinking a lot about little man's syndrome. For all those unfamiliar with such a thing, little man's syndrome is when someone who feels insignificant, attempts to throw their weight around, so to speak, so as other people will notice them.
Giving you an example of when this occurred, three years ago I was acting in the musical "The Full Monty" and yes we did actually do "The Full Monty", but anyway during rehearsals most of the cast was fantastic however, one very little lady made herself very noticed.
This self proclaimed "AWESOME", "TALENTED", yet all round annoying woman first made her presence known to me when she chewed off my ear, for 45 minutes telling me of her many paid, professional gigs, including some stints on England's ITV, and how she wouldn't usually do chorus, but, and I'm quoting here "It's often nice to take a step back for Humility's sake."
How very noble of her.
After weeks of rehearsals it became apparent that this was only the beginning of her reign of little-man-ness. She would step on toes to get centre stage, she would chuck elbows in dance routines, she would scream the lyrics to be heard, and she would take no prisoners. Not only would she not know that she was even doing it, but, and this is the sad part, she didn't realize that everyone was laughing at her, and absolutely nobody liked her.
I will never forget how our story ends, on our last night in Caloundra we had to block the show a little differently. The girls usually stand on the steps at the bottom of the stage and yell lines at us to take off the rest of our clothes but Caloundra had a massive orchestra pit which was about sank about 10 feet down, so the ladies had to run up side stage and deliver their lines across to us.
It started with the dress rehearsal, where this lady first took a step closer than all the other ladies to deliver her line. We had four shows in Caloundra.
Show 1. Two steps closer, the six of us lead guys are standing in a line facing the audience, so she is practically standing on the first of us.
Show 2. Four steps tonight she has maneuvered past Bobby and delivers her line between the two of them, then turns around and strolls back. Completely stopping the show for five seconds.
Show 3. Closer...
Show finale. She walks centre stage, I am standing far too close to the end of the stage, I did this on purpose, screw this I thought try and get past me... I clearly underestimated her, so lightning smooth, and without warning I received a sharp elbow to my ribs, now my first reaction was just to send both palms thrusting into her shoulders and watching her plummet head over heels into the orchestra pit landing on her ridiculous died blond hair style that she thought made her look in her mid twenties, but thank goodness the common sense and the acknowledgement of the fact I wouldn't do too well on the inside, instead I stepped back as she hit centre stage and delivered her line that was supposed to be to us, to the audience, she then turned and walked straight back. Smiling.
Victory, that was all she wanted, to be centre stage. To have the spotlight on her, for everyone just to look and listen to her, even if it was for just a second.
I saw her again, she was just as shit, just as much of a pain in the ass, but this time she had a lead role....
I guess dreams really can come true.
Now I'm not gonna mention any names, why?....... because I can't remember her fucking name.